Nest Learning Thermostat
Funny, Humor, Photos

Welcome to the Future, Mr. Bacon

The Nest is probably one of the coolest gadgets in our house at the moment. I no longer have to get out of bed at night when my wife reminds me that we forgot to turn the temperature down to 72. It does cool things by itself. Like a resourceful cat while you’re on vacation.

But Kevin Bacon (yes, the Kevin Bacon) apparently – or, well, just according to my dreams – does not approve of this device.

For some unexplainable reason, I have had a very strange recurring dream for the past few weeks. I approach my Nest and expect, as I always do, for the screen to turn on. But when it does, Kevin Bacon’s face appears within the circular display. And so he begins explaining his disapproval for the device. A lot of reasons I just can’t recall, but I can never forget two interesting points he yells at me. First, he explains to me that because this thing “learns” so easily, how can I be sure that it’s not going to eventually evolve into some sort of killing machine? Maybe it will grow legs and brandish machine gun arms, he says. “It’s happened before.” WHA?!?!

It gets worse – or better, depending on how you look at it. He tells me that I cannot rely on this “piece of shit” to protect me from the Tremors (yes, those Tremors). I tell him, “But you killed the tremors just fine!” To which he replies in his Philly accent, “I’m fuckin’ Kevin Bacon.” He then masterfully fades from the Nest’s display, and I abruptly awaken from my strange slumber.

The point is clearly lost on me, but it seems rather ominous. Either the Nest itself or the Tremors (which the Nest apparently can’t kill) are coming for me. Or maybe an army of Nests. With legs and arms serving as machine guns and cannons. But I’m not scared. After all, it’s a tough pill to swallow coming from a guy who is apparently still living in 1985 when it comes to HVAC control.

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